Having a random hookup so left but love u
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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