ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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