Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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