Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
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Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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