Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
