What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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