Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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