I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
