Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
