You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She bit a glass in half.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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