How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?