Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.

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  (574): I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI. http://tfl.nu/701e
  Replies (19) Good night (4024) Bad night (601)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek

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  (613): the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek http://tfl.nu/bytn
  Replies (5) Good night (1001) Bad night (3683)
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  (415): View more from California

  if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?

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  (415): if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me? http://tfl.nu/n53h
  Replies (90) Good night (988) Bad night (10432)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted

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  (772): you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted http://tfl.nu/vebg
  Replies (39) Good night (5390) Bad night (870)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (860) Bad night (3851)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.

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  (816): He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine. http://tfl.nu/bj2r
  Replies (103) Good night (790) Bad night (9020)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.

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  (207): And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition. http://tfl.nu/ff1h
  Replies (4) Good night (1276) Bad night (2690)
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  (310): View more from California

  I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame

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  (310): I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame http://tfl.nu/qjff
  Replies (14) Good night (3471) Bad night (1214)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.

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  (407): Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple. http://tfl.nu/3342
  Replies (4) Good night (1847) Bad night (755)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.

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  (778): i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card. http://tfl.nu/h3qh
  Replies (3) Good night (1221) Bad night (1060)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.

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  (203): nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night. http://tfl.nu/ahny
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (1735)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me

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  (336): i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me http://tfl.nu/j08w
  Replies (6) Good night (796) Bad night (1334)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.

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  (773): All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now. http://tfl.nu/dqh8
  Replies (6) Good night (943) Bad night (415)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  That's what you say about everyone.

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  (404): I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system. (910): That's what you say about everyone. http://tfl.nu/s26k
  Replies (5) Good night (1140) Bad night (405)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is

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  (386): He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/wlp6
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (778)

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