Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."

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  (202): And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan." http://tfl.nu/9mrq
  Replies (17) Good night (1902) Bad night (682)
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  (650): View more from California

  Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.

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  (650): Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not. http://tfl.nu/h9ye
  Replies (7) Good night (2214) Bad night (486)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think my fart just growled at me.

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  (203): I think my fart just growled at me. http://tfl.nu/gjsq
  Replies (7) Good night (1065) Bad night (2179)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.

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  (702): He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form. http://tfl.nu/7sev
  Replies (54) Good night (735) Bad night (5331)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."

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  (403): We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I." http://tfl.nu/5568
  Replies (25) Good night (4244) Bad night (868)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this

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  (807): Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this http://tfl.nu/x0os
  Replies (10) Good night (1347) Bad night (4021)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.

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  (647): We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda. http://tfl.nu/2f76
  Replies (8) Good night (4038) Bad night (992)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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  (419): You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?" http://tfl.nu/acel
  Replies (7) Good night (2708) Bad night (623)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  he ran through my sliding door

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers

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  (815): he ran through my sliding door (1-815): in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers http://tfl.nu/3l97
  Replies (5) Good night (2232) Bad night (539)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose

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  (262): You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose http://tfl.nu/d8zc
  Replies (6) Good night (1519) Bad night (819)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?

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  (715): Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend? http://tfl.nu/ol2o
  Replies (7) Good night (1386) Bad night (510)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.

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  (206): Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/wvly
  Replies (4) Good night (1659) Bad night (533)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.

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  (810): I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me. http://tfl.nu/noof
  Replies (10) Good night (584) Bad night (1579)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.

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  (206): I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too. http://tfl.nu/htiy
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (279)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?

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  (631): Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert? http://tfl.nu/xdif
  Replies (7) Good night (504) Bad night (293)

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