But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.