oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.