does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT