its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman