now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable