Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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