I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.