And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
