I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
