Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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