Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
