im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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