This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
