and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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