My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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