hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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