Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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