how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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