Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
