where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
