I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
