No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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