we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
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I'm at about main and main street
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.