I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.