:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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