I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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