Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
40s are totally the cure
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
