you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
