Your face is a jimmy john
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
only if we run a train.
done.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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