he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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