I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
