I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
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we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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