there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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