Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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