We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
the raccoons are back...
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