What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we made out on top of his cat.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I stole a fireplace last night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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