those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
