Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Randomize
