There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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