It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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