If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
