I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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