Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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