I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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