I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
