Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
