I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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