I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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