Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
