Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
