my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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