i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
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I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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