I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
