He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
