Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
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In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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