you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
