i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
